Last week my post was about firsts,
lasts and middles…since then, we have been blessed by our first grandson’s safe
arrival into the world. He is my first
grandson…but not my first grandbaby- that position belongs to Miss Aubrey
Blayce… and I hope Mr. Hudson Brent Macey is not my last grandbaby.
Many years ago, I wrote a children’s
book about “first, last and somewhere in the middle…” While the story is based
upon my own three children… the idea was formed when I heard a story about
another middle child in our family who, the day his older brother went to
school for the first time and he found his mom teary eyed, asked his mom if she
wished that she only had his older brother and his baby sister for kids… He was
only 3 years old and was struggling with his position in the family…and it made
me wonder how kids really do deal with the whole birth order… I am the oldest
in our family, and I always felt like I was in charge of my younger brother and
sister…obviously I was not…however, now as an adult, I still feel like it is my
job to “take care” of them. (and basically everyone else in my life as well)
At the time when I heard this story, I
was only the mother of two… but a couple of years later, I had our third child
and I began to watch how my children each reacted to their positions in the
family. I know there are a bazillion books written about birth order and the
effects of it…and I admit, I have never read a single one of them…(although I
have heard all about most of the theories over the years) I can say, beyond a
shadow of a doubt, that after watching my children grow up, and looking at the
differences in me and my siblings and my parents and their siblings as well as
just looking around at the families God has placed in my life- I can’t see that
any of them follow a certain “hard rule trend” that is dependent on their
birthing order. I do believe that God creates each of us with complete
uniqueness… and I believe that not only the birthing order, but also the family
and the surrounding situations help to mold that uniqueness into the person God
has created us to be…
That being said, I also believe that
children do struggle to figure out their position in the pecking order of the
family… I have watched my own three children as they competed for something
that was already theirs from birth…mine and their daddy’s unconditional love and
acceptance- both of which has absolutely nothing to do with what they have or have not done or accomplished; both of
which has nothing to do with whether they are the first, the last or somewhere
in the middle; both of which we had no control over- we never had a choice nor
a decision to make that granted them our love and acceptance… it was an
uncontrollable force that began as soon as they were conceived… a force that is
unexplainable, and yet unchangeable…
I want to share my children’s story with
you…and I hope you enjoy it. I have to
say that I am not the middle child, and I am not the youngest in my family…I am
the oldest- and as the oldest, I know that we have a tendency to feel lost
sometimes as well…I hope that as you read this story the message I am trying to
convey- unconditional love and acceptance, no matter what- is conveyed…
Let me know what you think!
Somewhere in the Middle
By Marleea Crittenden, 1996
Mary Catherine was stuck between two boys, not the oldest
and not the youngest, just somewhere in the middle. And sometimes she felt a little bit lost.
The position of oldest belonged to her
brother, Jonathan. He was eight years
old and in second grade. Mary Catherine
was six years old and in first grade.
Mary Catherine Cook was not the
youngest in her family either. That
position belonged to her little brother, Baby Peter Thomas. Everyone still called him Baby Peter, even
though he was 2 years old and learning to speak in complete sentences.
Mary Catherine loved doing
things with her Mommy. But there were
many times when Mary Catherine would come up with something fun for her and
Mommy to do together, and Mommy would say, “I am sorry Miss Mary, you will have
to wait until I finish helping Jonathan with his homework.”
Or sometimes she would say, “Not right
now, Mary Catherine, I promised Jonathan that I would play baseball with him.”
Then there were other times when Mommy
would also say, “I will do that with you as soon as I finish reading Baby Peter
a story.” Or, “Mary Catherine, I am trying to bathe Peter Thomas, so I can not
read with you right now. But I will in a
little while.”
This would make Mary Catherine
sad. And sometimes it made Mary
Catherine mad at her brothers.
One afternoon she came running into
the house looking for Mommy. Mary
Catherine was hoping to bake cookies, but when she found Mommy, she was reading
Peter Thomas a book. Mary Catherine
interrupted the story, “Can we make cookies Mommy?”
“Hey, we weading!” Peter Thomas said.
“Mary Catherine, we are reading a
story right now. I just don’t have enough time to help you bake cookies
today. But, if you would like, you can
have a snack. And you can help me cook dinner later.”
“I just want to bake cookies,” Mary
Catherine replied with a disappointed sigh.
“I am sorry Miss Mary. But we just can’t today. I’m going to finish this story, and then
Jonathan is waiting on me to help him with his homework.”
Peter Thomas was sitting in Mommy’s
lap sucking his thumb, patiently waiting for her to continue with the story. Suddenly, Mary Catherine yanked Peter’s thumb
out of his mouth. “You need to stop
sucking your thumb,” she said, “your teeth are going to be crooked.”
Beginning to whine, Baby Peter yelled,
“No! Teef not cricket!” And with that, he plugged his thumb back into his
mouth.
“Not ‘cricket’, it’s ‘crook-ed’!” Mary Catherine pronounced the word slowly and
clearly. “Crickets are little black
bugs,” she added.
This somehow got his attention, and he
began to whale “Mommy! Mawy Caf say teef are bwack bugs…not yike bugs!”
“I did not! You should learn to talk
right too…”
“Mary Catherine!” her mommy exclaimed. “What in the world is wrong with you? I think you better go to your room and think
for a while. I will be in there to talk
with you when I am finished with your brothers.”
Mary Catherine sat on her bed feeling
very sorry for herself. She began to
cry, and talk to her favorite doll, Elizabeth.
“I don’t know why I was so mean to Baby Peter. I’m just sad.”
Mommy came into her room. “Mary Catherine, have you thought about what
is wrong?”
“Yes Mommy,” Mary Catherine sighed, “I
just want to do something special with you.
We don’t get to do special things together very much.”
“Oh, so that is it,” Mommy said. “Well, I think you should go and apologize to
Peter Thomas. I do not think you were
really mad him.”
“Yes ma’am. I was a little mean,” Mary
Catherine said.
“He is in his room playing with the
blocks. After you finish with him, come
to the kitchen to talk with me,” Mommy said.
Mary Catherine apologized to Baby Peter, gave him a kiss,
and made him giggle by tickling him. She
then went to the kitchen where she saw that Mommy had set the table for a tea
party
“Would you like to join me for tea?”
Mommy asked.
When Mary Catherine sat down, she saw
that they were really having Oreo’s and milk, but that was great with her. She loved Oreo’s.
Mommy served Mary Catherine cookies
and milk, and they both began to eat.
Mary Catherine ate each cookie the same way. She carefully pulled apart the cookies to
expose the creamy, sugary filling. Only
after she had completely eaten the cream filling, did Mary Catherine pop the
crunchy, chocolate cookies into her mouth.
“Where is Jonathan?” Mary Catherine
asked.
“He is practicing his spelling words,”
Mommy answered.
“Do you love Jonathan because he is
your first baby?” Mary Catherine asked.
“Well, I love Jonathan, and I am glad
he is my first baby,” Mommy said.
“Jonathan teaches me how to be a better mother, and that makes things
easier with you and Baby Peter!” Mommy
said with a smile
“You love Peter Thomas a lot too,
don’t you? Are you glad that he is your
last baby?” As Mary Catherine talked,
she continued her routine with the cookies, first eating the cream filling, and
then the cookie.
“I do love Baby Peter a lot. And I am glad he is the last baby. He makes our family laugh a lot doesn’t
he?” Mommy was smiling at Mary Catherine.
No one said anything for a little
while. They both just ate cookies and
drank milk. Then Mommy said, “But you
want to know something else my little Miss Mary Catherine?”
“What?”
“I love you, too, just as much as I
love the boys.” As Mommy was talking,
she too was pulling apart her Oreo’s to expose the sweet, creamy middle.
“But I am not the oldest, and I am not
the youngest,” Mary Catherine said.
“No, you are not. You are the middle baby. You are the cream filling, just like
this.” Mommy held up her cookie to show
Mary Catherine the yummy, white center.
“You are the soft, sugary part that holds the two chocolate cookies
together. You make the boys more than
just a couple of crunchy cookies. With
you, we have Oreo’s!” Mommy smiled and
popped a whole cookie into her mouth.
Mommy picked up the last cookie, and
took a bite out of it. “See, I love the
whole Oreo cookie. But it takes all
three parts to make it an Oreo. Just like it takes Jonathan, you and Baby Peter to make our family whole. I do not know
where my love for one of you ends, and for the other begins, I
just know that having all three of you is God’s sweetest blessing.”
Mary Catherine was suddenly very
happy, and she gave her mommy a big hug.
“I love you Mommy.”
Mary Catherine Cook was not the oldest
in her family, and she was not the youngest.
No comments:
Post a Comment