A Message from Marz: Aging gracefully-ish???

January 15, 2012

Today is my birthday. I am 47, or is it 48…let’s see, I was born in 1965, so in 2005, I turned 40- 2010, I turned 45…it is now 2012, so yes… I am 47. Yes. This is literally the math I did in my head as I tried to remember my exact age. It is shocking that I am not more financially secure with those mathematical skills isn’t it?

I love birthdays… I just don’t like keeping up with how old I am. I remember when I could not wait to be “older”… I wanted to be able to date, drive, go to college, make my own decisions, get married, have kids… Those years ended a long time ago… A.Long.Time.Ago.

Age has never meant much to me. My best friend, Karen, always told me that she was 33. I believed her for years, until the year that Cody turned 33 and I knew she was older than he was… that was when I realized the math was not adding up. Age is just a number- and I am not good at remembering numbers.

But even though another birthday is just another number- my body is telling me that those numbers are racking up pretty quickly. First of all, I am a grandmother. Greatest gig ever. But after a full day with Aubrey, I realize I am tired. I am not sure how my own three children were ever fed well balanced meals. How did I manage to get the laundry done? And the fact that I ever arrived anywhere fully clothed and with make up on is a complete mystery to me now. I take her to day care and pick her up a couple of days a week. While these days are the highlights of my week, getting her in and out of the car seat is a work out for me. In fact, I think I might have torn my knee up just trying to maneuver around. I have considered asking the day care people to just come out and get her. Seriously. The thought crosses my mind. They do have younger people who work there…

I can’t wait for Lynnsay and HB’s little Pistol to arrive. I just hope I have the energy to chase him and Aubrey. Hopefully I won’t lose one of them. (Maybe Aubrey will be able to put Pistol in his car seat...and help get him out!! SHHHH- don't tell Lynnsay and Katherine)

Hot flashes…that is another really thrilling adventure you begin to experience as the years add up. I have actually considered running out into the cold air- naked… yes. NAKED. I have often stuck my head into our freezer. I have started to wear layered clothing…that way I can quickly strip down to my tank top at any given moment. I have also considered moving to my own room- as winter nights make me cold and want to snuggle, and then without a notice- I am on fire! Sweating, not wanting anyone to touch me and seriously wanting to shed my p.j.’s…intense heat followed quickly with the chills…It is a lesson in patience and endurance, let me tell you. Those cute little stylish scarves everyone is wearing right now? Great accessory to hide my aging neck. BUT. A hot flash nightmare. I have actually considered hanging myself with the scarf because I could not get it taken off fast enough. (I have also considered choking the men around me with it during a hot flash when they all seem to be laughing at me, as they sit around “feeling all cool”)I will never understand how my body thermal gauge can turn against me so quickly.

The other thing…readers. I have been blind since 4^th grade. Actually, probably a little earlier than 4^th since the first time I put on a pair of glasses I realized the trees actually had “separate” leaves- any of you with severe near sightedness can understand what I am talking about. But I have always been able to see up close…not anymore. And I have realized that short of carrying around a magnifying glass there are some things I just don’t think I will ever be able to see again.

Aging is not all bad. It has so many good things that go along with it, that it makes it worthwhile. With our children practically grown, Cody and I are experiencing wonderful bonding time together again. We actually have date nights that don’t end in a sporting event. We have alone time together at our house, not just in our vehicles going from one event to the next! Don’t get me wrong- I loved every minute of that!! But I am enjoying this time more and more everyday! It is almost like we are newlyweds- but we have already fought through the big stuff like sharing the closet space…lid up or down on the toilet seat…what direction does the toilet paper go on the roll…those type of things were ironed out years ago. Now we are comfortable and have more time to focus on just each other.

Our children are becoming our best friends as we get to spend more time enjoying their company and not feeling like we are constantly parenting them. We really do like them, and even more? We enjoy their company!

Cody and I are laughing at ourselves. Cody bought a rain gauge (large print for old eyes) and he could not wait to check it last time it rained. I have hung a humming bird feeder, and have begun to research what food to put out in order to attract mockingbirds. Cody drinks coffee sometimes just because… We have figured out how to get what we want for breakfast at Cracker Barrel by combining orders and saving ourselves $4.00! We are looking forward to the Senior Discount.

And one of the best things about getting older? Being a grandparents!! We have our granddaughter, Aubrey, and our grandson, Pistol, (not his real name, my nick name) who will be arriving in May. As an added bonus, we also get to share grandchildren with our best friends, Karen and Bobby! So we have Jack, Ryleigh, Henry and Baby Bean Supak (not his real name, my nick name), who will make his debut a couple of months before Pistol…A hug from any of these children is like fuel for my happy meter. I can live a week full of happy thoughts off of a few moments with any of these little munchkins. And the joy I get from watching Cody be their “Pops”? There are no words.

I love my family!! I love my husband!! I love my life…. My aging life….God is good!