A Fine Line

February 10, 2012

I am not a good driver. I have never claimed to be a good driver.  I don’t enjoy driving. People don’t really want to ride with me, because I make them nervous. It has been said that I am a terrible driver; which I suppose could be true.  However, I have only had one actual wreck in my life, and I have only had 2 traffic tickets. Both pretty good numbers when you figure I have been driving for well over 30 years. 

I follow the traffic laws, for the most part, to the best of my abilities.  I am not perfect at keeping the laws. Far from it. You can ask my mother-in-law who was with me a couple of years back when I ran the red light on 57^th street crossing the loop; or my kids, who have been with me when I went down a one way- the wrong way.  There are a million times a day when I look at my speed and realize that I am over the limit. I can’t count the times over the last year that I have been on my cell phone going through a school zone when I suddenly realized what I was doing. There have been just as many times that I have knowingly driven over the speed limit trying to make it to my destination quicker.  I have also knowingly “glided” through a stop sign and even a red light because I did not want to take the time to stop, and I knew no one was coming. I have driven my car with my inspection sticker or my tags out of date.  I am not perfect in my ability to keep the traffic laws, nor am I perfect in my desire to keep them.  However, my goal when I get behind the wheel is to obey the rules of the land. I think I can say with relative ease that no one has ever been able to keep all of the traffic laws, no matter how hard they try. 

My route to work every day takes me by an elementary school.  Depending on what time I actually leave my house, the speed limit could range from 25 mph to 30 mph.  But it is never over 30!  We live in a sub division that is not really “in town”- so it is hard to keep it under 30 on that long stretch of road.  But the road we turn onto from it to head “into town” (2305 or Lake Road) is even longer and bigger.  The speed limit on it is 50 mph. And I struggle with that as well- most of the time I set my cruise when traveling on 2305.

The other morning when I left my house it was getting close to 9 a.m. and I was trying to hurry, because my granddaughter attends the only day care in the world that “requires” you be there by 9 a.m.!! (I NEVER make it) I had missed the school zone time, but I was still having a hard time keeping my speed limit on 30. I looked in my rear view mirror to see a City Cop behind me and he was closing the distance at a pretty good clip. Now- I have to say that even with the cop behind me, I found it nearly impossible to keep my speed limit right on 30. The officer sped past me and changed lanes (no turn signal) and then took a quick right at the red light on 2305  to head into Temple.  He did not come to a complete stop before he made the right hand turn on red, he simply slowed down and went on through the red light.

At first, I was irritated.  How dare he, the officer of the law, not OBEY the law?  What kind of example was that to me and the other drivers on the road?  I mean, I don’t really have a problem with running through red lights, or speeding- but what about the others driving on the highway? 

It hit me right then- Police officers do not have the job of showing me the law.  Their job is not to keep the laws and serve as perfect examples to the public. (although their goal should be to keep the laws if at all possible) They are here to enforce the law. If I had turned right at the red light without coming to a complete stop, and an officer happened to see me and stop me, I would not be able to explain to him that I thought it might be ok because I had seen the officer right in front of me do the same thing.  I am held accountable to the law, and the law enforcer is here to point out when I am not following it. 

Was the law enforcement agent above the law? By no means- however, the badge he wears, the gun he carries, and the car he drives gives him a freedom that the rest of us don’t have.  However, this freedom also allows the law enforcer to protect the public.  For instance: When my son was robbed, I did not want the officers who were headed to the scene of the crime to be controlled by the traffic laws- I wanted them to speed. I did not want them bound by the traffic laws that keep the public from running in chaos! And I trusted they would get there safely and as quickly as possible. 

Since that morning I have considered how Christians mimic these relationships and roles in real life.

 Many feel like they are law enforcement officers.  They are constantly pointing out the way their brothers and sisters are failing to uphold the law- all in the name of love, of course. And yet, they themselves are breaking laws.  The thing with this is that is, as my friend Karen says, a fine line…where do God’s laws end and man’s additional laws begin?  And scripture tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.  I could be wrong, but I don’t see in scripture where “law enforcement” is a gift of the spirit.

And how often, as Believers, do we judge another Believer’s actions (as I did that morning with the police officer)? We see something going on, make a judgement call in our human hearts and then chalk that believer up as being a “bad role model” as a Christian. We determine what type of influence their actions are having on other Christians, and better yet, the rest of the unbelieving world; or even worse- we can attribute their actions to causing us to slip up and break a law. Often that is when we call on the Law Enforcement Christians, or we step into the role of the Law Enforcement Christian; and we attack our Brother or Sister.  Again in the wise words of Karen, this is a fine line. We are called to hold each other accountable-in love. And again, scripture tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. And again, I could be wrong, but I don’t recall in scripture where quick judgment of our brother or sister is a gift of the spirit.

And finally, how often as believers are we paralyzed by fear of breaking the very law that was put in place by our own God with the knowledge there was no way a mere human could ever keep it.  How often do we spend our lives looking at the speed odometer checking our speed while keeping a close eye on the Law Enforcement Officer who is following us, only to look down and see that once again we have failed, and instead of going 30 mph, we are now heading up to 32! The fear of being caught and disciplined only sends us into panic and we are now living our lives in slow motion, or worse yet, in hiding.  Once again- scripture tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:19-24…28…31 “We know that the law’s commands are for those who have the law.  This stops all excuses and brings the whole world under God’s judgement, because no one can be made right with God by following the law.  The law only shows us our sin. But God has a way to make people right with him without the law, and he has now shown us that way which the law and the prophets told us about.  God makes people right with himself through their faith in Jesus Christ.  This is true for all who believe in Christ, because all people are the same:  All have sinned and are not good enough for God’s glory, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift.  They need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ…A person is made right with God through faith, not through obeying the law…So do we destroy the law by following the way of faith? No! Faith causes us to be what the law truly wants.”

It seems to me that what Paul is saying in Romans makes Karen’s wise words completely true.  Walking with Christ is a fine line. It says “faith causes us to be what the law truly wants.” I think that means that the law truly wants us to realize we can never keep it, we can never be good enough...The law wants us to realize we have to have a Savior...we have to have Jesus. I believe that as long as I am walking in faith with Christ, my faith and my life will reflect my driving record in many ways.  I will not always do what is right.  I will never be really good.  I will definitely not be perfect. But as long as I have my sights on my destination and my trust and my faith is in Christ- I am able to face anything! And even though the traveling between points A and B may be rough and a little frightening- I am going to arrive at point B…not on my own terms, but on my Savior’s!

"Too Sexy for my Car"

February 6, 2012

The first brand new car that Cody and I purchased (actually the only brand new car we have ever purchased) was a Honda Accord.  I can’t remember the exact year model- It was probably a 1990 or ’91.  We had Jacob and Lynnsay, but no Dave yet. I loved that car…

When we went car shopping (the first time I had ever shopped for a car)- Cody had given me an entire scenario to act out.  I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I think I was supposed to act like I did not really like anything and I was nervous or something. Whatever my role was supposed to be, Cody and I had not been married long enough for him to come to grips with the fact that I have no acting abilities (my sister got all of those genes) and I can’t ever hide my emotions (no one in our family has those genes). So- the moment I got in the car and put it into gear (it was a 5 speed!!!!) and took off down the road in Killeen, I was hooked. I believe when we pulled back into the lot at Cleo Bay Honda my exact words were, “I LOVE THIS CAR!” And Cody knew his goose was cooked and his grand plans of negotiating had just been blown out of the water by his non-acting, over emotional wife. (If you ask me, it was a bad plan from the get go- but I tried to go along with it)

It was “Champagne” color with a maroon interior.  The interior was so plush and once the door was closed, outside noise almost ceased to exist.  The “new car” smell was heavenly. It had the oh so chic flip up headlights, and the antennae went up when you started the car and down when you shut off the engine… It was, and always will be, my very favorite car. We had that car until after David was born, and Jacob started school. That was when I entered the world of “Car Pooling”. 

When you have 3 children, and the oldest is in kindergarten and the youngest is 18 months, and you want to share the job of carrying your children to and from school- it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out you need a car with more passenger room…so we began to look for a vehicle that would fit our needs- a (YIKES!) mini van!

We settled on a “slightly used” Ford Aerostar.  It was the extended length and also was the “Sport” model.  Being a sport Aerostar only meant that it had some extra cut vinyl striping, and that it had running boards.  But even those did not make me feel very sporty while driving it.

There was a song popular about the time we bought the mini-van, “I’m Too Sexy”. There is a line in the song that says, “I’m too sexy for my car…too sexy by far.” I must confess, I sang that song every day when I drove that minivan, for a long time.  I am sure I even made up verses, because I do things like that.

I distinctly remember being at a red light by a lady in a cute Honda Accord and I was there in my big blue box (marked up with the racing stripes and running boards) and I hated her.  I was envious of the cute sexy car.  I also noticed there were not three children all screaming in the back seat of her car.  She seemed to be enjoying the music on the radio while I was making up new and improved verses to add to “I’m too sexy for my car”…  I am sure I sang something like “I’m too sexy for YOUR car…too sexy by far!”

I have to say I grew to love that minivan as well as the other two we purchased after that one. They are the affordable choice for a family.

It is hard to believe that was about 17 years ago.  Minivans have changed almost as much as my life over the last 17 years.  The last minivan I owned was a Ford Windstar.  I was so excited because the driver’s seat folded down and moved all the way up allowing the driver to have easier access to the middle row of seats. Now days minivans have doors that open electronically on both sides.  Even the rear door opens electronically! (I wonder how much money Chiropractors have lost since mothers no longer have to struggle to get those things closed?) They have stow and go seats; hidden cargo compartments; and  dvd players are the standard, not a luxury.

Funny thing is- I think I have out grown the minivan phase of my family, only to revisit it now that I am a grandmother. I really want a minivan. I want the space and the convenience.  Now, when I am at a red light and I see a young mother beside me in her minivan- and I covet the van.  Now I sing, “You’re too sexy for your car…too sexy for your car…too sexy by far!  I’m too old for my car… too old by far! I need a minivan….need a minivan- I think I’m going to tell my man.”

Funny how life is full of changes!  I never realized that having a grandchild would make me want to go back to the convenience of driving a minivan…and yet, I never realized how much having a grandchild was going to impact my life either!   

This is what our first minivan looked like- exactly!!

Walking in the Water

January 31, 2012

Today is my daughter’s 23^rd birthday.  It is hard to believe that she is already 23 and even harder to believe that in a little over 3 short months she will be a mother! Or as I like to put it, giving me my first grandson.

Lynnsay is a beautiful young woman.  Cody and I are so proud of the lady she has grown into.  She is a good wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher.  She is talented in so many ways.  One of my greatest “thanksgivings” is that she and HB live in Temple…and while we try not to invade every aspect of their lives (Honestly, HB, I try. Hard.Really.Hard) we get to spend a lot of quality time with them.

Lynnsay, who, as I have already said is pregnant, recently asked me to start going to “water aerobics” with her…So while I know that I am not really good at “organized exercising”, I agreed to start going with her. She is adorable…and I know she feels like she is completely out of shape because she can’t really run or do any of the other activities she usually does to get into shape.  And besides, since she took water aerobics at A&M she has wanted to join a class.  I like being in the pool. Until recently, I owned a pool because I enjoy being in one so much. I love spending time with my kids.  And besides- I was pretty confident that Lynnsay and I would be the youngest ones in the class…and probably in the best shape…a HUGE overconfident assumption on my part since the most physical activity I have experienced in the last 9 months is chasing Aubrey.

We went last Thursday.  I was sitting in the car with Cody waiting for Lynnsay to get there and watching the ladies who were going in before us…they fed right into my overconfident state of mind…

Lynnsay and I changed to our suits (neither of us had swim shoes of any sort) and we headed to the pool.  A lady (probably in her 70’s) who had introduced herself to us in the dressing room, was the leader of the class. She had on tennis shoes. In the pool. (a woman with sensible shoes…a woman after my dad’s and my husband’s hearts) She was nice enough to have gathered our “equipment”. Hand weights, bar bells, and a kick board. There were 3 other ladies in the class- two ladies in their 60’s and a young girl who was a lifeguard. Even with the teeny bopper in the class, I was still feeling pretty confident.

Lynnsay and I were giggling as we got into the pool.  She was incredibly cute in her suit with her little pregnant figure- we missed the “stretch” time, but agreed how much stretching could it take???

Here’s the deal. I don’t think missing the stretches was my problem…but I did have a problem.

Lynnsay is excellent at organized physical activities. She is good at sports. She learned to Snow Board the first time she went skiing. She follows directions well.  She is coordinated and has some sense of rhythm. She is competitive. And she is young. (Ok! Ok! With the teacher being old, age should not really be figured in to my excuses- but I am playing that card anyway!)

I am not any of those things. About the 3^rd time Granny Swim Trunks grabbed my arms or pointed me out in class, I sort of wanted to cry. And after she had asked me how to say my name, and I had corrected her from “Marlena” to “Marleea” twice- I kind of wanted to splash her in the face each time she said, “No Marlena it is like this!” “Marlena, you need to be sitting, like this.” “Marlena the breast stroke is like this, not the way you are doing it.”And when she said, “I have lapped you almost twice, you need to pick up the pace!” I bit a hole in my tongue to keep from saying, “Yeah! Because you are the jolly green giant with tennis shoes on!  I am short and I think my feet are rubbed raw!”

But instead, I would look at my daughter’s happy face; she looked so adorable with her little belly leading every exercise.  She did not seem embarrassed at all that her mother was a loser in the class.  When I turned to the left instead of the right, (which was quickly pointed out by Coach Sweetness, “Your other right, Marlena! It’s been a long day hasn’t it?” Another mental eye roll and splashing from me)it did not phase Lynnsay.  She just smiled at me and said sweetly, “See how much exercise we missed when we had the pool?”

She was patient and made me want to stay and try harder.  Her encouraging presence kept me from giving in and just deciding I did not want to do it anymore.

What a blessing to have a daughter who models Jesus for me! When things in my life get so hard, and I am about to give up, I know I have a Savior. As long as I keep looking at Him, I don’t fall into the grip of despair.  When I look at Christ I am not faced with a mirror of my own mistakes.  I don’t see embarrassment from Him because I am making a complete fool of myself. I see my Savior laughing and saying, “Come on Marleea! (He doesn’t ever call me Marlena) See how much fun we have missed!”

We are going again…and I am wearing my tennis shoes! I will keep my focus on my Savior and my daughter…and off of my inabilities and failures…  Who knows? One day you may go to a Water Aerobics class and find that I am the old lady leading the class! Feel free to splash me if that ever happens! (Oh- and I will feel free to grab your elbows and shove them to your sides, because that is where they are supposed to be! Not floating on top of the water.)

A few photographs of what I really enjoy doing in the water...

Aging gracefully-ish???

January 15, 2012

Today is my birthday.  I am 47, or is it 48…let’s see, I was born in 1965, so in 2005, I turned 40- 2010, I turned 45…it is now 2012, so yes… I am 47. Yes. This is literally the math I did in my head as I tried to remember my exact age. It is shocking that I am not more financially secure with those mathematical skills isn’t it?

I love birthdays… I just don’t like keeping up with how old I am.  I remember when I could not wait to be “older”… I wanted to be able to date, drive, go to college, make my own decisions, get married, have kids… Those years ended a long time ago… A.Long.Time.Ago.

Age has never meant much to me.  My best friend, Karen, always told me that she was 33.  I believed her for years, until the year that Cody turned 33 and I knew she was older than he was… that was when I realized the math was not adding up. Age is just a number- and I am not good at remembering numbers.

But even though another birthday is just another number- my body is telling me that those numbers are racking up pretty quickly.  First of all, I am a grandmother.  Greatest gig ever.  But after a full day with Aubrey, I realize I am tired.  I am not sure how my own three children were ever fed well balanced meals. How did I manage to get the laundry done? And the fact that I ever arrived anywhere fully clothed and with make up on is a complete mystery to me now.  I take her to day care and pick her up a couple of days a week. While these days are the highlights of my week, getting her in and out of the car seat is a work out for me. In fact, I think I might have torn my knee up just trying to maneuver around.  I have considered asking the day care people to just come out and get her. Seriously. The thought crosses my mind. They do have younger people who work there…

I can’t wait for Lynnsay and HB’s little Pistol to arrive.  I just hope I have the energy to chase him and Aubrey.  Hopefully I won’t lose one of them. (Maybe Aubrey will be able to put Pistol in his car seat...and help get him out!! SHHHH- don't tell Lynnsay and Katherine)

Hot flashes…that is another really thrilling adventure you begin to experience as the years add up. I have actually considered running out into the cold air- naked… yes. NAKED. I have often stuck my head into our freezer.  I have started to wear layered clothing…that way I can quickly strip down to my tank top at any given moment. I have also considered moving to my own room- as winter nights make me cold and want to snuggle, and then without a notice- I am on fire! Sweating, not wanting anyone to touch me and seriously wanting to shed my p.j.’s…intense heat followed quickly with the chills…It is a lesson in patience and endurance, let me tell you. Those cute little stylish scarves everyone is wearing right now? Great accessory to hide my aging neck. BUT. A hot flash nightmare. I have actually considered hanging myself with the scarf because I could not get it taken off fast enough. (I have also considered choking the men around me with it during a hot flash when they all seem to be laughing at me, as they sit around “feeling all cool”)I will never understand how my body thermal gauge can turn against me so quickly.

The other thing…readers.  I have been blind since 4^th grade. Actually, probably a little earlier than 4^th since the first time I put on a pair of glasses I realized the trees actually had “separate” leaves- any of you with severe near sightedness can understand what I am talking about. But I have always been able to see up close…not anymore.  And I have realized that short of carrying around a magnifying glass there are some things I just don’t think I will ever be able to see again. 

Aging is not all bad. It has so many good things that go along with it, that it makes it worthwhile.  With our children practically grown, Cody and I are experiencing wonderful bonding time together again.  We actually have date nights that don’t end in a sporting event.  We have alone time together at our house, not just in our vehicles going from one event to the next! Don’t get me wrong- I loved every minute of that!! But I am enjoying this time more and more everyday! It is almost like we are newlyweds- but we have already fought through the big stuff like sharing the closet space…lid up or down on the toilet seat…what direction does the toilet paper go on the roll…those type of things were ironed out years ago. Now we are comfortable and have more time to focus on just each other.

Our children are becoming our best friends as we get to spend more time enjoying their company and not feeling like we are constantly parenting them. We really do like them, and even more? We enjoy their company!

Cody and I are laughing at ourselves. Cody bought a rain gauge (large print for old eyes) and he could not wait to check it last time it rained.  I have hung a humming bird feeder, and have begun to research what food to put out in order to attract mockingbirds. Cody drinks coffee sometimes just because… We have figured out how to get what we want for breakfast at Cracker Barrel by combining orders and saving ourselves $4.00! We are looking forward to the Senior Discount.

And one of the best things about getting older? Being a grandparents!! We have our granddaughter, Aubrey, and our grandson, Pistol, (not his real name, my nick name) who will be arriving in May. As an added bonus, we also get to share grandchildren with our best friends, Karen and Bobby! So we have Jack, Ryleigh, Henry and Baby Bean Supak (not his real name, my nick name), who will make his debut a couple of months before Pistol…A hug from any of these children is like fuel for my happy meter.  I can live a week full of happy thoughts off of a few moments with any of these little munchkins. And the joy I get from watching Cody be their “Pops”? There are no words.

I love my family!! I love my husband!! I love my life…. My aging life….God is good!

This is our Noodle...Aubrey Blayce

Pistol…

Jack

Ryleigh

Henry

I don't have a picture of Baby Bean... but I assume he looks a little bit like Pistol!



Walking with the Master

January 11, 2012

I have a pug- June Bug the pug.  She is actually David’s dog, but he frequently accuses me of stealing her, which I very well might have.  However, she still really loves him- she just prefers my sleeping habits- normal ones- over his- vampire hours. (Seriously, I have been checking his teeth for fangs)

June Bug makes me laugh.  Almost every time I look at her I cannot help but smile.  It has been that way since the first time I saw her photo on Craig’s List. She grunts, snorts, breathes loudly at best, purrs when she is content and snores.  Her snoring is competitive with my husband’s…sometimes I wake up to the tune of them snoring in a rhythmic duet.  That even makes me smile.  June Bug has also been known to pass gas, loudly, and that makes me laugh out loud! Toots bring no reaction from her other than she lifts her head to look at me as if to say, “What?”

I also have another dog, Lucy. Lucy is a malti-pooh and a princess. She was a gift to me from my husband, however, if the truth be told she loves him the most.  She is sweet and furry. I always wanted her to wear a bow. But early on I knew that she took after my daughter and thought they looked stupid and she refused to keep them in her hair. Lucy could be the prettiest malti-poo I have ever seen. With or without a bow.

June Bug likes to follow me around. A lot. Our morning routine usually consists of this: I get up and go into the bathroom- she reluctantly leaves the warm covers and follows me in there.  I take her to the back door she goes out and comes right back in. As I am waiting for my tea pot to boil, I feed her.  She eats her dog food (and Lucy’s if I don’t keep an eye on her) in a matter of seconds- literally. Seconds. Like a doggie vacuum.  I put her back outside, and she comes right back in…we head back to the bathroom where I continue the process of getting ready for my day. June Bug almost never leaves my side. She will follow me around so closely that if I turn around too quickly I will almost trip over her.  Often she follows close enough that she keeps her nose planted on my leg as she takes deep, loud snorts and purrs as if to say that she loves the way I smell.

I began to wonder what it would look like if I was actually following Jesus that closely…what if I consistently considered His steps and simply walked blindly behind Him?  Isn’t that really what I am called to do?

Lucy, on the other hand, is a princess and prefers to only be in someone’s lap or curled up on the couch.  She does not have time to follow me around, it would require way too much walking. And she is not much into walking. She never goes anywhere quickly, except to someone’s chair at the dinner table that she thinks might slip her a little bite. She has also been known to hit the door running when she thinks she might get to go somewhere with us. She is quick to roll over in order to get her tummy scratched. She is sweet and adorable, and realizes her only goal in life is to love us. Lucy  rests in the comfort of knowing we are taking care of her every need.

I so often get distracted by my own wants and needs, or just the life going on around me that I leave His side.  I stop following in His footsteps.  I quit resting in the comfort of knowing that He is taking care of my every need. My goal in life becomes self centered and I am no longer living just to love my God.

Thanks June Bug and Lucy for bringing us happiness and for reminding me of how one truly walks with the Master.

Christmas Changes

January 4, 2012

As it seems like has happened with everything else in our lives this year, we faced changes during Christmas. And as has happened with all of the other changes, God blessed us through our families and our friends. The love we all share illuminated the meaning of Christmas in my heart.

The financial challenges we have faced this past year forced deep budget cuts in our Christmas spending. And even though I was excited about the special gifts we had picked out for each of our children and our granddaughter, a portion of my heart grieved over the fact that we could not afford to give them more.  At one point David, our youngest, was talking about someone listing off all of the things she had received during a family Christmas. According to David, the long list was followed with the comment, “I did not get anything.” And my heart ached because in comparison to that list, David really did not get anything. And I worried that he would feel the same way.

But again, our children showed me the true meaning of Christmas. We celebrated Christmas with our children on Dec. 23^rd.  As has become our tradition, we had wings at Plucker’s and returned home to open gifts. . They were grateful for every gift they received- but the main enjoyment we had was with each other.  We played games. We laughed and all talked at once.  We watched Aubrey play with her new baby doll.

The next day my parents, who had driven their travel trailer in the night before, came over and spent Christmas Eve with us.  And that evening, my children all granted my Christmas wish (and my mom’s as well) and attended the Christmas Eve church service with us. We all went to our friends’, William and Elizabeth’s after church and had taco soup and visited.

Christmas morning Cody and I woke up and for the first time that I can remember, Santa Clause had not visited our house. I know the meaning of Christmas has very little to do with a visit from the man in red, however, I have always loved the celebration at dawn of finding out exactly what Santa left everyone under the tree and in their stockings…it is magical.

I remember as a little girl, I would wake up my brother and sister and we would sneak into the living room to see all of our goodies.  As I grew into a teenager, the job of waking us up was handed down to my little brother, and when he became a teenager, my sister took over the chore.  By the time my sister was a teenager, I was married with children- and they woke everyone up. So, really, I cannot remember a single Christmas morning that I have not woken up to the laughter and squeals of delight- from my brother and sister, my own children or my nieces and nephews.

But for the first time when we woke up Christmas morning, there was only me, Cody and David. No stockings full of candy.  No gifts laid out under the tree. The absence of these things made me sad, and once again, I worried about how David was taking this change.  

We prepared for the arrival of my sister-in-law, nephew and nieces from California, as well as the arrival of my sister and her family who were coming from Lubbock the next day to celebrate Christmas with my parents and the “Cox” side of our family. I was so excited about them all coming to town.  It would be the first time we would have had any of them in our new house. Plus it was the first time all of our family (minus my brother, who was stuck working in California) would have been together in over a year. As I changed sheets and cleaned house, I considered how we should be preparing for the return of Christ; not simply celebrating His birth every year.  But as we celebrate the birth of our Savior, we should be reminded to prepare for His return. As a matter of a fact, we should be anxiously looking forward to it with the same excitement that I felt about the arrival of my family.

For several years, we have celebrated Christmas with our “Temple family”, Bobby and Karen Luckett and their family. This year, for the first time, we were having our Christmas dinner at their house instead of our house.  As we now both have grown daughters, we were able to divide up the cooking so it did not all rest on one or two people’s shoulders. (Karen is good at delegating. I am not)  So, my kitchen was much quieter, and my stress level much lower.

When we arrived at Karen and Bobby’s house with my parents in tow, I was once again amazed by all of the gifts God has given us.  All of our kids, their spouses and our grandchildren were there, laughing and talking and working together to get the meal ready to be served. We ate, played games and reminisced. We also looked forward to future times together as next Christmas we will have two more baby boys to add to the growing list of grandchildren. Our families have a truly remarkable bond that while it is not genetic, I believe it to be spiritual. God has formed this family.

We received the phone call from Michelle, my sister-in-law, letting us know that her arrival at our house was close at hand.  We loaded up and all headed back to our house anxious to see them all. As they unpacked and adjusted to the new surroundings, I began to fill plates with Christmas leftovers.  It was not long after that our front door opened again, and in walked my sister, brother-in-law and all three of my nieces- a day early! It was a wonderful Christmas day surprise! All of the cousins were together on Christmas day! What a great gift to my parents to have all of their grandchildren under one roof at once.

I remember the first year our oldest son, Jacob, was aware that Santa had visited him. He was almost 18 months old.  We were at my parent’s house, where he came toddling down their long hallway into the living room. He spotted the “Little Tike” basketball goal immediately and took off running and yelling, “Baa-it ball!  Baa-it ball!”  Cody and my lives were forever changed…watching the faces of our children light up was like a drug. We were addicted. We still are. 

While Cody and I cut back on the gift giving this year, our children, granddaughter, nieces and nephews, parents and siblings still brought me to tears as their faces continually lit up over spending time together. Their excitement was not dependent on the gifts they received; but only the quality time we were given. I suddenly realized that the main change that occurred this Christmas was actually in my own heart, as Christ slowed me down and quietly showed me the true meaning of Christmas.  It was magical.

Baking for my Boy

December 18, 2011

I DON”T bake… I hate to bake.  I am not good at baking… I am an awesome cook. You can ask anyone who knows me- and I know this is going to sound a bit self inflated- I rarely ever have a miss on an actual meal…but give me a recipe for cakes, cookies, pies…etc…I rarely have a success.

Today is my son’s 19^th birthday…while at the grocery store…I decided that I would bake David a pumpkin pie…He loves pumpkin pies… Then my ADD/Mudgie Syndrome (I know most of you don’t know what the Mudgie syndrome is…it is an explanation for another day…) and I remembered when he was two and his grandma and I were eating cheesecake at a “girlie” restaurant, and we decided to share with him…he LOVED it! He actually would take his fork and use it to push our forks out of the way when we were going for a bite.  It was so funny!  I am sure that my mother-in-law would agree with me that it was a priceless memory…

So, as I decided that I could make the boy pumkin’ pie (mostly stuff from a can, and frozen crust… surely I could do that…) I started remembering the 2 year old boy stabbing and poking and pushing his way for every bite of cheesecake… thinking of his happy face filled me with “Super Mom Mentality”- a lethal hormone issue (if you have never experienced it, beware- it actually makes you think you can do anything for your child- FALSE)

At Thanksgiving, Katie Schindler, my “niece”, (who is one of the best bakers I know) made a Pumpkin Cheesecake…It was literally a work of art…and the taste??? Slap yourself silly SUPER DELICIOUS! So… me, in the grocery store with no actual plan in hand and my ADD/Mudgie Syndrome kicking in, I had no defense against the “Super Mom Mentality”. I began making irrational choices and decisions… I would make both!! PUMPKIN PIE and PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE!! Now is probably a good time to tell you that I did not have the recipe to the Pumpkin Cheesecake, so I was winging it on the ingredients. (Cody did have to make a trip to the Dollar General afterwards)

Now, I am sure that you are all thinking the end result was disaster… but it was not a complete failure.  I found the recipe for the awesome cake Katie made on Thanksgiving, but it called for 4 packages of cream cheese, I had 3 packages; so I looked at one from Paula Deen that called for 3 packages of cream cheese. But then upon further investigation, the one from Paula called for a 15 oz. can of pureed pumpkin; I only had 29 oz. cans. But the one Katie used called for 1 ½ cups. As I did the math, I knew that 1 ½ cups was not exactly 15 ozs. (I hope I am right on this one???) so I simply “eyeballed” a little more than half of the can of pumpkin. I did not have enough time for my cream cheese to actually get to room temp, so I just worked with it.  I did not have dark Karo for the “Pecan Pie Glazed Pecans” that went on top, so I just used brown sugar and light Karo… by the time I got to the point of putting the Praline Sauce and the glazed pecans on my cheesecake, I had pretty much lost interest in the whole project…Who knew it would take 5 hours to bake the freaking thing, and most of that time was spent waiting for the next step!!! So…while my cake was tasty (ish).  It was not a work of art, it was not even “cute”.

I felt like my Pecan Pies were a hit- even though I still have one whole pie left…hmmm… maybe they weren’t that great either. 

But armed with “Super Mom Syndrome”, I worked hard to make my 19 year old baby boy, David’s, birthday special, because he is so special to me!! He makes me laugh, think, and want to be a better person.  I am proud of you Dave Man!!! Happy Birthday! I love you!!