Why All Mommy’s of toddlers and pre-schoolers deserve a cleaning lady (Even if they stay at home)

It has been since March 1st that I have had a “regular weekend”… in all reality, it could have been longer than that; I can’t really remember all the details of February, because, yes, March and April have been that crazy. But I am positive that I have not had a Saturday to myself in the last two months.

Now- I don’t want to sound selfish…I love doing everything that I do for everyone in my life…but I do love a Saturday that is dedicated to cleaning house, laundry and prepping for the next week…time in the yard working…bathing my dogs…changing my sheets…spending time on my porch and at the end of the day having a perfectly cleaned house, laundry done, folded and put away, dinner prepared and not feeling like I am “behind” on anything  in the homemaking business.  I may be behind in my work at the shop; I may be behind in my Bible reading; I may be behind in almost every other aspect of my life, but for that one little moment- my housework is up to date and in order. So, what I am saying to you is that for nearly two months, my life has not been “in order”; it has not been up to date. It has not been in control. (Mine that is)  I feel like I have been treading water and my head is barely above the water enough to breath. (Which is exactly where it would be if I were indeed treading water…if you don’t believe me, you can ask my trainer, Hannah, who told me and my daughter that we were the worst swimmers she had ever seen…)

A wonderful day that I have had all along is “Hump Day with Hudson and Aubrey”. (For those of you that don’t know, that is my 23 month old grandson and my 3 year old granddaughter.)So, on Wednesday I have a “day off,” or another way to say it is, “I get to stay home.” At this point all stay at home moms should be offended…and speaking as a former stay at home mom, this attitude totally infuriates me. However, that being said, I do feel the pressure that I should “get something done” on the Wednesdays when I “stay home to keep my grandkids”.  But, I try to keep my focus on my grands and off of my house. However, today, was a little different…I had a household goal and planned for myself: clean my nasty bathrooms!  I also had a household goal planned for the grands:  clean the “baby room” before nap.  Thank God my world is not ruled by timeline goals…

My bathrooms (and I only have two) have been in desperate need of attention. I have only “spot cleaned” (I hope you get my drift…all sorts of spots) for the last 8 weeks.  Today, I was sure that while the kids were playing I could really clean my bathrooms…deep clean… get all of the scum off the tubs, get the toothpaste spit out of the sink, wipe down the toilets with bleach and shine them with rubbing alcohol, shine the counters and the mirrors and finish with a shine of the tile and the tub… This is a process that normally takes me 20 minutes for each bathroom, MAX… Today, it took over 2 hours to clean two bathrooms. TWO HOURS!!! And two hundred melt downs… and I am not going to lie… 50 of them were mine.   I worked hard to keep my grandmother attitude in sync with my mother mouth…however that did not work…on so many levels.

“Sweetie, don’t come in here or touch that because it has bleach on it, and it can hurt you and ruin your clothes…why don’t you go play or watch “Mickey Mouse Club”?

“DON’T COME IN HERE!! BECAUSE I SAID NO!”

Those are just a couple of examples…

The interruptions in cleaning…oh the interruptions… dealing with jumping on the bed.  Tug of war over a toy. Rescuing the dogs from a toddler herding attack. (I have to admit that I toyed with the idea of letting them bully the poor dogs because they were laughing and there was no fighting…or tattling. They were united in this effort.)  Realizing that my house is not “baby proof” and I did not realize that the ______ (fill in the blank, because the list is endless) was within reach. (And my grands have a good reach)

And then there is the tattling…oh the tattling… OY VEY!!!! As a former mom myself, I immediately recognize the sing song, whining tone of a sentence being started with my name, such as, “MaAarrrZZZZzz”, as the beginning of a “report.”  It is a report  on another child’s behavior which in no way has to do with blood, broken bones, life threatening actions, or even the possibility that someone has ran away… It is generally to report over the unfairness in the world.  Crayons being hoarded.  Dolls taken away.  Turn taking not going as planned…that sort of report. After halting the 250^th of such reports, I inevitably start to scream, “If either one of you tattle one more time, I am going to poke my eye out!!  Seriously, I am going to be forced to poke my eye out… with my finger…” Words that generally cause my grandchildren to look at me as if I have lost it, and then look at each other and start laughing.  I think they are mentally high fiving each other because they realize they have pushed me over the edge.

I also spent a good deal of time answering the same question over and over again… “MarZ, when can we go outside and play with the chalk?” My answer? “As soon as I get these two bathrooms clean.”

After two hours and a lot of counting to 10 in my head and constantly reminding myself that they are just babies… I finished my bathroom cleaning- and we headed to the patio for art and entertainment.  We drew flowers and houses and wrote “I love you’s”. We drew on the dogs, and the house and pots…we had a melt down over sharing the chalk… and both grands were filthy by the time we went back inside…so guess what?  The plan to clean up the kid room before nap time was replaced with bath time… after which, my spotless tub was sporting a chalky soap ring and filled once more with bath toys that had to dry out before being returned to the toy bag.   And I was reminded, once again, that precious time with these precious babies is worth more than any clean surface in my house. 

I have a poem that is hanging in one of my bathrooms.  It says:

“Cleaning and scrubbing

Can wait till tomorrow

For babies grow up,

We’ve learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs

Dust go to sleep.

I am rocking my baby,

And babies don’t keep.”

Maybe grandmothers need a house keeper sometimes too!

Additional Note from MarZ:  I wrote this blog over a month ago, and have just not taken the time to post it.  Today I was blessed with the opportunity to keep not only my grandson, Hudson- but also two of his cousins (and his DeeDee’s grands)…They had a family funeral, and I had volunteered to keep the little ones during the service.  So from 10:30 to 1 p.m. I had three under three… a 6 month old, a 31 month old and a 25 month old. As I enjoyed them, I realized that having three babies in diapers is exhausting… and only the smallest and then the “squeaky wheel” (aka: poopie diaper) is the one that gets the attention! While my time with these precious babies was spent with so much laughter and love… it was also exhausting.  “Floor time” for the 6 month old quickly changed from precious memories of Hudson loving on “baby” and cooing sweet words to her (causing this MarZ to drift into dream land of how great of a big brother he is going to be) to a war zone when a recovered “swimmer” pull up lead to so much excitement that he forgot the baby was on the floor and almost crushed her (causing this MarZ to remember how tough 2^nd babies need to be).  Going to the bathroom waited until I almost peed my pants because I was worried about what to do with the baby while I tinkled… I opted for floor time (which she is not a fan of) on the bath rug, with the door locked. Safe zone…(causing this MarZ to think about how difficult it is for a mommy to potty train one kiddo while you have a small one that you have to figure out what to do with every time you hear the words, “Mommy! I have to go potty!”) And forget about referring the fights of the older two… who really wants to put the baby down to make sure that everything is fair during toy time…Until punches are thrown… and then you risk the total meltdown of the baby in order to kiss the wounded and deal with bully. My mom always said, “I have had some stressful jobs in my life, and serving as County Judge has definitely been at the top of the list.  However, being a Judge is nothing in comparison to raising children.”  Amen, Mother. Amen.

I love all of the young moms in my life who are doing amazing jobs with their children.  I am in awe of each of you… and I am honored to be a part of your children’s lives.  I see so many of my own parenting flaws by watching all of your parenting successes… you guys are an inspiration to me…(I wonder if I could have a “do over”) 

You each deserve a house cleaner!!!

Re Post of one of my Passions

Several years ago I read a book that impacted my life.  The Same Different as Me is a true story by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. Hall is a wealthy art dealer in Fort Worth and Moore is a homeless man who relocated from Louisiana to Fort Worth- their lives became intertwined by the will of God as He moved in the heart of Deborah Hall, Ron’s wife, and the two of them began serving in “soup kitchen” program in Fort Worth.  The Halls developed a personal friendship with Denver Moore that changed all of their lives. 

I know that God guided me to Foundation United Methodist Church 3 years ago, and a few months later placed me in the middle of “Feed My Sheep,” a type of ministry that reading  The Same Different as Me  had sparked a passion in my heart for. Now that I have actually been blessed to be a part of Feed My Sheep, that passion has only grown.

Working with Feed My Sheep has changed the way I think, and the way I live my life. Rainy days now don’t just move my heart to praise God for the moisture; I am also moved to pray for a dry spot for shelter.  A thunderstorm in the middle of the night wakes me up and prompts me to pray for safety.  The long hot days of summer bring prayers for plenty of water. Bitter cold nights cause my heart to plead for people to find their way to the warming shelters. Missing faces give me cause to worry, while someone returning brings relief to my soul!

As my husband, Cody, and I have served in this ministry over the last 25 months, these people have become more than just "the homeless and the hungry" in my eyes. They have become the faces of people I love, and pray for; faces of people who are citizens in my community. They are each created by God in His image.

My passion for this ministry has spread throughout my entire family and often the whole “Crittenden Clan” shows up to volunteer at the FMS center.  I love watching the interaction between our grandchildren and all of the people coming through the line.  When our granddaughter, Aubrey, was two and she had already developed a special way of loving the people at the center.  One Sunday,  I was sitting outside with both of the grandbabies.  I was wrestling my 7 month old grandson, Hudson, and watching Aubrey as she played chase and sang songs with the other volunteers and some of the people just standing around the building. As one man was leaving, he pinched Hudson’s cheek, but walked past Aubrey without saying a word. Being a normal two year old, she felt slighted and the look on her face made my heart ache, but I watched as she took off after the man and caught his attention by grabbing his pant leg and yelling “Hey!"  As he stopped and looked at her, she opened her arms and said, "Hug?" and gave the man a huge bear hug. Watching that interaction brought tears to my eyes... the attention that man gave to Aubrey was so important to her. She did not notice that the clothes he was wearing were filthy and threadbare. She did not care that the hands he hugged her with were calloused and stained with dirt and grime. She did not react to the fact that he did not smell all that great. She reacted to him as a normal 2 year old that has just been overlooked, while her younger cousin received some attention. His acknowledgement of her and her presence made her feel important.

I have heard people say thing like, “We tried to help one of the homeless men, but he didn’t want any help. He was happy to be homeless.” I think I see this situation a little differently. 

I don’t think help means change.  And I don’t think “helping” is equal to “improving”. I think helping is meeting them where they are, as they are.  Many of them have served in our armed forces. Most of them have faced devastating losses in their lives; and several of them have learned to survive despite being mentally ill; I am sure that some are battling demons that I can’t begin to imagine. But they are each human beings, and while they do need help, they don’t necessarily want to be “cleaned up” to receive it. They live a hard life, whether they have arrived here by consequences of their own decisions, or whether they are here because of circumstances beyond their control- I believe that they each deserve love and respect. I think “helping” is seeing them through the eyes of my 2 year old granddaughter- without judgment or pre-conceived opinions.

They mean something to me. They mean something to my family. And they mean something to the body of Christ. I pray that each of you will see where God is leading you to serve these amazing people in our community… these people who sometimes seem unlovable, and obviously socially outcast… but have become my heart’s choice as family.

marleea crittenden

Feed My Sheep Video

Facebook Status Updates Lent Style- Week Two

Home sweet home… I have missed my husband, my dogs and my bed!

Lynnsay and I returned to Temple on Wednesday.  We had such a great visit with my in-laws, parents, sister and nieces!  But it was nice to be back in my own home!

Asking for prayers for my sweet mother-in-law and our family, and especially for my husband as he works diligently to complete a job so that he can travel to Lubbock to be with her and his family.

My mother-in-law, who has been suffering with liver failure for two years, took a serious turn for the worse and was not expected to live through five days… the family was called in to her bedside. However, no one told her that her time was limited to five days… we took her home on Wednesday, and got her settled in with daily visits from HOSPICE, a hospital bed and side table…and now 16 days later, she actually ate breakfast at the kitchen table with my father-in-law. She said she would go when the good Lord called her name, but not before!  I love that woman so much!!

Five days in west Texas, five days home and five more days in west Texas… my hatred of sandstorms has been re-established…I don’t want to hear anyone in Central Texas complaining about the wind blowing. Ever.

The sand…oh the sand… I told Cody that it has been a long time since there was sand left in the tub after my shower that was not from the beach or gardening. The smell of dirt stuck with us until we got to Gatesville…

Blessed to be able to attend worship at our church this morning… I love my Foundation family!

We came home on Saturday and were able to make it to church on Sunday.  We got to hug the necks of many of the people who have been praying for our family all week.  Such a great blessing to be part of a praying body!

Wine night with the ladies!!! So much fun!

Monday night at the Nolan Creek Winery…it was so relaxing to have “lady talk”!  (And a bonus was the fact that all open bottles were 50% off by the glass!!)

A new favorite quote from Aubrey Blayce, “Do you know what the difference between me and you is? I was born a princess!”  Yes, baby girl, you were.  And don’t ever forget it!

One of my favorite movies of all time is “A Little Princess.”  I love it when the little girl asks the mean old teacher, “Didn’t your daddy tell you that you were a princess? Every little girl is a princess.” (Not a verbatim quote- but you get the meaning) All daddy’s should tell their little girls that they are a princess.  I think it should be a mandate.

Tuesday night and I am working late instead of working out.

I have not gotten to work out all month.  I have been sick, out of town or having to work… I miss my workout days!!

Hump day with Hudson and Aubrey will be spent at the office today!! I love getting to spend time with these two anywhere!

I  usually spend my Wednesdays at home with the kids.  But I have been so far behind at work that this week I went ahead and tried to work with them.  Amazingly, I really did get a lot of stuff done in between looking for Hudson, taking potty breaks, refereeing fights, filling up sippy cups, “opening” bananas and forcing naptime…

Workout cancelled by our trainer…boo! Or is it whoo hoo!! I am conflicted…

Lynnsay and I were changed and ready to go workout when Hannah messaged us and told us that she could not make it.  We thought about working out by ourselves for one hot minute- Instead we picked up Aubrey and went to the grocery store and came back to my house and made spaghetti and played outside with Aubrey and Hudson!

I hate it when I open my grandmother mouth and my mother voice comes out…Sorry I yelled at you Princess… but I just wanted you to get off the porch…I did not have time to show you where the red wasp was in order to convince you that you needed to move off of the porch…

Aubrey is very smart, and unfortunately sometimes that translates to needing to “understand” why you are asking her to do something… which is often followed by a very 3 year detailed explanation of why she should NOT have to do whatever it is you are asking her to do…all of which cause me to resort to just yelling, “BECAUSE I SAID SO- THAT IS WHY!!”  A phrase I hated hearing as a child, and I hated using as a mother- and it is now haunting me as a grandmother…

Aubrey, during a “naptime” came and got me and said, “MarZ, can you just come pray for me?  That’s what my dad does.” Melt.My.Heart.Make.Me.Cry. I will pray for you anytime, anywhere for anything.  I will pray for you without ceasing…

Yes- this conversation took place after my epic grandmother fail while trying to get her off of the porch and away from the red wasp… This granddaughter of mine is almost perfect…Home sweet home… I have missed my husband, my dogs and my bed!

Lynnsay and I returned to Temple on Wednesday.  We had such a great visit with my in-laws, parents, sister and nieces!  But it was nice to be back in my own home!

Asking for prayers for my sweet mother-in-law and our family, and especially for my husband as he works diligently to complete a job so that he can travel to Lubbock to be with her and his family.

My mother-in-law, who has been suffering with liver failure for two years, took a serious turn for the worse and was not expected to live through five days… the family was called in to her bedside. However, no one told her that her time was limited to five days… we took her home on Wednesday, and got her settled in with daily visits from HOSPICE, a hospital bed and side table…and now 16 days later, she actually ate breakfast at the kitchen table with my father-in-law. She said she would go when the good Lord called her name, but not before!  I love that woman so much!!

Five days in west Texas, five days home and five more days in west Texas… my hatred of sandstorms has been re-established…I don’t want to hear anyone in Central Texas complaining about the wind blowing. Ever.

The sand…oh the sand… I told Cody that it has been a long time since there was sand left in the tub after my shower that was not from the beach or gardening. The smell of dirt stuck with us until we got to Gatesville…

Blessed to be able to attend worship at our church this morning… I love my Foundation family!

We came home on Saturday and were able to make it to church on Sunday.  We got to hug the necks of many of the people who have been praying for our family all week.  Such a great blessing to be part of a praying body!

Wine night with the ladies!!! So much fun!

Monday night at the Nolan Creek Winery…it was so relaxing to have “lady talk”!  (And a bonus was the fact that all open bottles were 50% off by the glass!!)

A new favorite quote from Aubrey Blayce, “Do you know what the difference between me and you is? I was born a princess!”  Yes, baby girl, you were.  And don’t ever forget it!

One of my favorite movies of all time is “A Little Princess.”  I love it when the little girl asks the mean old teacher, “Didn’t your daddy tell you that you were a princess? Every little girl is a princess.” (Not a verbatim quote- but you get the meaning) All daddy’s should tell their little girls that they are a princess.  I think it should be a mandate.

Tuesday night and I am working late instead of working out.

I have not gotten to work out all month.  I have been sick, out of town or having to work… I miss my workout days!!

Hump day with Hudson and Aubrey will be spent at the office today!! I love getting to spend time with these two anywhere!

I  usually spend my Wednesdays at home with the kids.  But I have been so far behind at work that this week I went ahead and tried to work with them.  Amazingly, I really did get a lot of stuff done in between looking for Hudson, taking potty breaks, refereeing fights, filling up sippy cups, “opening” bananas and forcing naptime…

Workout cancelled by our trainer…boo! Or is it whoo hoo!! I am conflicted…

Lynnsay and I were changed and ready to go workout when Hannah messaged us and told us that she could not make it.  We thought about working out by ourselves for one hot minute- Instead we picked up Aubrey and went to the grocery store and came back to my house and made spaghetti and played outside with Aubrey and Hudson!

I hate it when I open my grandmother mouth and my mother voice comes out…Sorry I yelled at you Princess… but I just wanted you to get off the porch…I did not have time to show you where the red wasp was in order to convince you that you needed to move off of the porch…

Aubrey is very smart, and unfortunately sometimes that translates to needing to “understand” why you are asking her to do something… which is often followed by a very 3 year detailed explanation of why she should NOT have to do whatever it is you are asking her to do…all of which cause me to resort to just yelling, “BECAUSE I SAID SO- THAT IS WHY!!”  A phrase I hated hearing as a child, and I hated using as a mother- and it is now haunting me as a grandmother…

Aubrey, during a “naptime” came and got me and said, “MarZ, can you just come pray for me?  That’s what my dad does.” Melt.My.Heart.Make.Me.Cry. I will pray for you anytime, anywhere for anything.  I will pray for you without ceasing…

Yes- this conversation took place after my epic grandmother fail while trying to get her off of the porch and away from the red wasp… This granddaughter of mine is almost perfect…Home sweet home… I have missed my husband, my dogs and my bed!

Lynnsay and I returned to Temple on Wednesday.  We had such a great visit with my in-laws, parents, sister and nieces!  But it was nice to be back in my own home!

Asking for prayers for my sweet mother-in-law and our family, and especially for my husband as he works diligently to complete a job so that he can travel to Lubbock to be with her and his family.

My mother-in-law, who has been suffering with liver failure for two years, took a serious turn for the worse and was not expected to live through five days… the family was called in to her bedside. However, no one told her that her time was limited to five days… we took her home on Wednesday, and got her settled in with daily visits from HOSPICE, a hospital bed and side table…and now 16 days later, she actually ate breakfast at the kitchen table with my father-in-law. She said she would go when the good Lord called her name, but not before!  I love that woman so much!!

Five days in west Texas, five days home and five more days in west Texas… my hatred of sandstorms has been re-established…I don’t want to hear anyone in Central Texas complaining about the wind blowing. Ever.

The sand…oh the sand… I told Cody that it has been a long time since there was sand left in the tub after my shower that was not from the beach or gardening. The smell of dirt stuck with us until we got to Gatesville…

Blessed to be able to attend worship at our church this morning… I love my Foundation family!

We came home on Saturday and were able to make it to church on Sunday.  We got to hug the necks of many of the people who have been praying for our family all week.  Such a great blessing to be part of a praying body!

Wine night with the ladies!!! So much fun!

Monday night at the Nolan Creek Winery…it was so relaxing to have “lady talk”!  (And a bonus was the fact that all open bottles were 50% off by the glass!!)

A new favorite quote from Aubrey Blayce, “Do you know what the difference between me and you is? I was born a princess!”  Yes, baby girl, you were.  And don’t ever forget it!

One of my favorite movies of all time is “A Little Princess.”  I love it when the little girl asks the mean old teacher, “Didn’t your daddy tell you that you were a princess? Every little girl is a princess.” (Not a verbatim quote- but you get the meaning) All daddy’s should tell their little girls that they are a princess.  I think it should be a mandate.

Tuesday night and I am working late instead of working out.

I have not gotten to work out all month.  I have been sick, out of town or having to work… I miss my workout days!!

Hump day with Hudson and Aubrey will be spent at the office today!! I love getting to spend time with these two anywhere!

I  usually spend my Wednesdays at home with the kids.  But I have been so far behind at work that this week I went ahead and tried to work with them.  Amazingly, I really did get a lot of stuff done in between looking for Hudson, taking potty breaks, refereeing fights, filling up sippy cups, “opening” bananas and forcing naptime…

Workout cancelled by our trainer…boo! Or is it whoo hoo!! I am conflicted…

Lynnsay and I were changed and ready to go workout when Hannah messaged us and told us that she could not make it.  We thought about working out by ourselves for one hot minute- Instead we picked up Aubrey and went to the grocery store and came back to my house and made spaghetti and played outside with Aubrey and Hudson!

I hate it when I open my grandmother mouth and my mother voice comes out…Sorry I yelled at you Princess… but I just wanted you to get off the porch…I did not have time to show you where the red wasp was in order to convince you that you needed to move off of the porch…

Aubrey is very smart, and unfortunately sometimes that translates to needing to “understand” why you are asking her to do something… which is often followed by a very 3 year detailed explanation of why she should NOT have to do whatever it is you are asking her to do…all of which cause me to resort to just yelling, “BECAUSE I SAID SO- THAT IS WHY!!”  A phrase I hated hearing as a child, and I hated using as a mother- and it is now haunting me as a grandmother…

Aubrey, during a “naptime” came and got me and said, “MarZ, can you just come pray for me?  That’s what my dad does.” Melt.My.Heart.Make.Me.Cry. I will pray for you anytime, anywhere for anything.  I will pray for you without ceasing…

Yes- this conversation took place after my epic grandmother fail while trying to get her off of the porch and away from the red wasp… This granddaughter of mine is almost perfect…Home sweet home… I have missed my husband, my dogs and my bed!

Lynnsay and I returned to Temple on Wednesday.  We had such a great visit with my in-laws, parents, sister and nieces!  But it was nice to be back in my own home!

Asking for prayers for my sweet mother-in-law and our family, and especially for my husband as he works diligently to complete a job so that he can travel to Lubbock to be with her and his family.

My mother-in-law, who has been suffering with liver failure for two years, took a serious turn for the worse and was not expected to live through five days… the family was called in to her bedside. However, no one told her that her time was limited to five days… we took her home on Wednesday, and got her settled in with daily visits from HOSPICE, a hospital bed and side table…and now 16 days later, she actually ate breakfast at the kitchen table with my father-in-law. She said she would go when the good Lord called her name, but not before!  I love that woman so much!!

Five days in west Texas, five days home and five more days in west Texas… my hatred of sandstorms has been re-established…I don’t want to hear anyone in Central Texas complaining about the wind blowing. Ever.

The sand…oh the sand… I told Cody that it has been a long time since there was sand left in the tub after my shower that was not from the beach or gardening. The smell of dirt stuck with us until we got to Gatesville…

Blessed to be able to attend worship at our church this morning… I love my Foundation family!

We came home on Saturday and were able to make it to church on Sunday.  We got to hug the necks of many of the people who have been praying for our family all week.  Such a great blessing to be part of a praying body!

Wine night with the ladies!!! So much fun!

Monday night at the Nolan Creek Winery…it was so relaxing to have “lady talk”!  (And a bonus was the fact that all open bottles were 50% off by the glass!!)

A new favorite quote from Aubrey Blayce, “Do you know what the difference between me and you is? I was born a princess!”  Yes, baby girl, you were.  And don’t ever forget it!

One of my favorite movies of all time is “A Little Princess.”  I love it when the little girl asks the mean old teacher, “Didn’t your daddy tell you that you were a princess? Every little girl is a princess.” (Not a verbatim quote- but you get the meaning) All daddy’s should tell their little girls that they are a princess.  I think it should be a mandate.

Tuesday night and I am working late instead of working out.

I have not gotten to work out all month.  I have been sick, out of town or having to work… I miss my workout days!!

Hump day with Hudson and Aubrey will be spent at the office today!! I love getting to spend time with these two anywhere!

I  usually spend my Wednesdays at home with the kids.  But I have been so far behind at work that this week I went ahead and tried to work with them.  Amazingly, I really did get a lot of stuff done in between looking for Hudson, taking potty breaks, refereeing fights, filling up sippy cups, “opening” bananas and forcing naptime…

Workout cancelled by our trainer…boo! Or is it whoo hoo!! I am conflicted…

Lynnsay and I were changed and ready to go workout when Hannah messaged us and told us that she could not make it.  We thought about working out by ourselves for one hot minute- Instead we picked up Aubrey and went to the grocery store and came back to my house and made spaghetti and played outside with Aubrey and Hudson!

I hate it when I open my grandmother mouth and my mother voice comes out…Sorry I yelled at you Princess… but I just wanted you to get off the porch…I did not have time to show you where the red wasp was in order to convince you that you needed to move off of the porch…

Aubrey is very smart, and unfortunately sometimes that translates to needing to “understand” why you are asking her to do something… which is often followed by a very 3 year detailed explanation of why she should NOT have to do whatever it is you are asking her to do…all of which cause me to resort to just yelling, “BECAUSE I SAID SO- THAT IS WHY!!”  A phrase I hated hearing as a child, and I hated using as a mother- and it is now haunting me as a grandmother…

Aubrey, during a “naptime” came and got me and said, “MarZ, can you just come pray for me?  That’s what my dad does.” Melt.My.Heart.Make.Me.Cry. I will pray for you anytime, anywhere for anything.  I will pray for you without ceasing…

Yes- this conversation took place after my epic grandmother fail while trying to get her off of the porch and away from the red wasp… This granddaughter of mine is almost perfect…Home sweet home… I have missed my husband, my dogs and my bed!

Lynnsay and I returned to Temple on Wednesday.  We had such a great visit with my in-laws, parents, sister and nieces!  But it was nice to be back in my own home!

Asking for prayers for my sweet mother-in-law and our family, and especially for my husband as he works diligently to complete a job so that he can travel to Lubbock to be with her and his family.

My mother-in-law, who has been suffering with liver failure for two years, took a serious turn for the worse and was not expected to live through five days… the family was called in to her bedside. However, no one told her that her time was limited to five days… we took her home on Wednesday, and got her settled in with daily visits from HOSPICE, a hospital bed and side table…and now 16 days later, she actually ate breakfast at the kitchen table with my father-in-law. She said she would go when the good Lord called her name, but not before!  I love that woman so much!!

Five days in west Texas, five days home and five more days in west Texas… my hatred of sandstorms has been re-established…I don’t want to hear anyone in Central Texas complaining about the wind blowing. Ever.

The sand…oh the sand… I told Cody that it has been a long time since there was sand left in the tub after my shower that was not from the beach or gardening. The smell of dirt stuck with us until we got to Gatesville…

Blessed to be able to attend worship at our church this morning… I love my Foundation family!

We came home on Saturday and were able to make it to church on Sunday.  We got to hug the necks of many of the people who have been praying for our family all week.  Such a great blessing to be part of a praying body!

Wine night with the ladies!!! So much fun!

Monday night at the Nolan Creek Winery…it was so relaxing to have “lady talk”!  (And a bonus was the fact that all open bottles were 50% off by the glass!!)

A new favorite quote from Aubrey Blayce, “Do you know what the difference between me and you is? I was born a princess!”  Yes, baby girl, you were.  And don’t ever forget it!

One of my favorite movies of all time is “A Little Princess.”  I love it when the little girl asks the mean old teacher, “Didn’t your daddy tell you that you were a princess? Every little girl is a princess.” (Not a verbatim quote- but you get the meaning) All daddy’s should tell their little girls that they are a princess.  I think it should be a mandate.

Tuesday night and I am working late instead of working out.

I have not gotten to work out all month.  I have been sick, out of town or having to work… I miss my workout days!!

Hump day with Hudson and Aubrey will be spent at the office today!! I love getting to spend time with these two anywhere!

I  usually spend my Wednesdays at home with the kids.  But I have been so far behind at work that this week I went ahead and tried to work with them.  Amazingly, I really did get a lot of stuff done in between looking for Hudson, taking potty breaks, refereeing fights, filling up sippy cups, “opening” bananas and forcing naptime…

Workout cancelled by our trainer…boo! Or is it whoo hoo!! I am conflicted…

Lynnsay and I were changed and ready to go workout when Hannah messaged us and told us that she could not make it.  We thought about working out by ourselves for one hot minute- Instead we picked up Aubrey and went to the grocery store and came back to my house and made spaghetti and played outside with Aubrey and Hudson!

I hate it when I open my grandmother mouth and my mother voice comes out…Sorry I yelled at you Princess… but I just wanted you to get off the porch…I did not have time to show you where the red wasp was in order to convince you that you needed to move off of the porch…

Aubrey is very smart, and unfortunately sometimes that translates to needing to “understand” why you are asking her to do something… which is often followed by a very 3 year detailed explanation of why she should NOT have to do whatever it is you are asking her to do…all of which cause me to resort to just yelling, “BECAUSE I SAID SO- THAT IS WHY!!”  A phrase I hated hearing as a child, and I hated using as a mother- and it is now haunting me as a grandmother…

Aubrey, during a “naptime” came and got me and said, “MarZ, can you just come pray for me?  That’s what my dad does.” Melt.My.Heart.Make.Me.Cry. I will pray for you anytime, anywhere for anything.  I will pray for you without ceasing…

Yes- this conversation took place after my epic grandmother fail while trying to get her off of the porch and away from the red wasp… This granddaughter of mine is almost perfect… 

Status Updates Lent Style- Week One

Well, I decided to give up Facebook for lent.  I think I am spending far too much time on it, and a break was long overdue.  However, I decided I would just start blogging my status updates… I will share them with you, but I have realized that most of the time, a status update is simply for my own enjoyment.

 “Happy Birthday Elika!! I love you, and I am so thankful that God blessed us with your birth and that He has allowed me to be small part of your precious life!!!”  With Dianne Kiblinger

Sweet little Elika Kiplinger turned 6 on Friday!  We met them for lunch at Chick-fil-A and we got to go to Pet Smart and pick out a new Beta fish for her!  She did a great job picking out a beautiful blue crowntail!  She named him Blueberry.

“Road trip!! Packed up and heading to west Texas!”

Lynnsay, Hudson, Aubrey and I packed up and left for Shallowater late Friday afternoon.  We arrived at my sister’s house about 11 p.m.  Other than having to perform moves of a professional contortionist in order to pick up dropped sippy cups, snack bags or toys…our 6 hour ride from Temple to Shallowater was uneventful and fun.

“Watching some little dribbler games in Shallowater… my nieces are ballers!!”

Saturday morning consisted of a house full of girls, with the addition of one 22 month old boy (who was being manhandled, for the most part, by the girls) and one daddy/uncle, (who was being ignored, for the most part, by the girls) all rushing around to get ready for a 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. little dribblers basketball game.  Oh how I have missed sitting in a gym filled with the sound of screeching tennis shoes, a ball bouncing on the floor and the blowing of the whistle!  As well as the yells of all the onlookers…”Move your feet!”  “Grab the rebound!” “SHOT!” “Get it to the basket!” 

“Well, that was embarrassing…in a freak accident, Aubrey and I ended up in a tumbled heap on the floor of the Shallowater Elementary School gym…with everyone looking on.  Yes, Shallowater, I am a klutz.”

While trying to gather all of our “stuff” together, keep Hudson from jumping off the stage as well as running onto to the court to grab a “bahitball”, consoling Bella (7 year olds don’t take losing seasons without a little bit of tears)and meeting and talking to my sister’s friends, somehow Aubrey took my hand and began walking around me and we got tangled up in a heap and ended up sprawled on the floor.  Everyone in our “group” yelled and started gathering around us… the on lookers just stared at us, with what I felt was veiled judgment, and I just wanted to stand up and get out of there!  I was pretty sure I had damaged Aubrey’s internal organs by landing on her and my family was certain that I had broken something by falling on the floor.

Aubrey, “MarZ, this baby needs to go to the doctor, I think she is sick.” With Jacob Crittenden and Katherine Stewart

Um, yeah… it does look like there is a problem with that particular baby that goes a little further than the fact she is at least 38 years old…

“No one eats chicken and French fries at Leal’s, Aubrey!" Apparently Aubrey will only eat chicken and French fries at Leal’s.

Needs no explanation.

“Preslee: I can’t eat lunch. I feel gross.  I am still in my pajamas.

“Me: I am still in my pajamas too…I feel gross…but I am totally eating lunch!”

Yes- on Sunday, at my mom’s house, I ate lunch in my p.j.’s!

“It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood here in west Texas.”

Sandstorms in west Texas…

Preslee, noticing that I was crying at Reagan’s middle school choir concert, said, “MarZ, are you crying?  You do realize that Reagan is doing basically nothing up there right now except moving her mouth, right?”  Man! That child keeps it real!

Shallowater Middle School  Choir concert…it lasted all of 15 minutes and we were 5 minutes late. But I still found 10 minutes worth of music to bring me to tears…

“I have lived through two haboobs in West Texas.”

This is a photo from the haboob in October of 2011 taken at a Shallowater Mustang Football practice.

Photos of the Haboob coming in on March 11, 2014

For Real… and I don’t care if everyone wants to just call them “Sand Storms”... these were both a little different in the way they hit hard and all at once... And both reminded me that I am happy to live in Temple, Tx, where the wind may blow, but the sand does not.

New Habit Commitment

I am going to start complimenting complete strangers.  I am.  I have made the commitment.  I have been thinking about it for a while now.  I see people and admire something about them, hair, outfit, attitude, or perhaps even the way the interact with their children, and I think, “I should tell them that!” But I generally don’t.  I usually just smile (hoping that small bit of body language will communicate the positive vibes I have for them and somehow bless their day) and then walk away. It is just so far outside my comfort zone to even talk to complete strangers, much less compliment them, which is just one of the things about me that is quirky.

First of all- I love to give compliments!  To the people in my life circle.  My husband, my kids, my grandkids, my extended family, my friends…anyone I actually feel like “I know.” But strangers? No. Not at all…

The funny thing is, I have been the recipient of compliments from complete strangers, and they have never made me uncomfortable. In fact, they generally brighten my day! But for some reason, I feel like if I were to compliment someone I don’t know, they will look at me like I am crazy and feel totally uneasy.

I know this fear is a product of my own insecurity…instead of thinking how a compliment will affect the person I am giving it to, I am completely consumed with the fear of what they will think of me, a complete stranger…Silly? Yes, I know. Selfish? Yes, I am starting to see that.

So, the first person I complimented was the check out lady (girl really, because she was terribly young, probably not old enough to buy the box of wine which she was selling me) at Wal Mart.  She was a very lovely girl, who had taken a “do rag” (that is what I call them) type of scarf and wrapped it around her head and had it tied in a really cool bow… When I saw it, my first thought was, “Wow! That is so cute and looks like something I would have worn when I was young.”  And then my next thought was, “Well, I would have wanted to wear that, but I would not have because I would have felt like someone would have thought I looked stupid…” (Which if you really know me at all seems like an oxymoron because I do, say and wear things everyday that should make me look and feel stupid… my friend, Melody, would say that an actual “do rag” would be one of them… but for some reason, I am somewhat confident with those choices- go figure) So, in response to all of these voices in my head, I quickly said, “I love your scarf on your head!!” 

Now, I have to say that I am so glad that I did not follow that with something stupid, like, “That is something I would have wanted to to do, but never would have had the courage to pull off…” or “I never would have thought about tying it in a bow on the top of my head, but it really looks good on you…” or,  my all time favorite and most used addition to anything, “Sorry… just sayin’..”

Now, I have to say that forcing myself to keep quiet during the silence following my compliment allowed me to devote all of my attention on the check out girl’s reaction… (this is, surprisingly what happens when you turn your focus off of  your own feelings and simply observe those around you, who knew?) She smiled shyly, and blushed a little and said, “Thank you!” as she reached up and tenderly touched her scarf… SCORE!!!  For me and for check out girl!!!  I had spoken the affirmative words that had entered my heart, without apology and without explanation.  I had spoken them with confidence in my opinion and my assessment.  The check out girl had received them as an affirmation that someone appreciated her sense of style enough to say something out loud, to her… a positive input for her day.

There is a saying I heard somewhere about that it takes five positive comments to equal/neutralize one negative comment… I am not sure how true that is… but it seems pretty accurate to me!  I have decided I want to be on team POSITIVE FIVE!!! If I like it, am touched by it, admire it, inspired by it or simply think it is cute, I am committing to saying it out loud to the person wearing it, doing it or participating in it.  Welcome to my new “Positive Lifestyle.”

Happy Valentine's Day...

My Valentine Video

I know that I posted a video less than a week ago, and some of you might think I am on the verge of being obsessive… but, it was Valentine’s day on Friday, and I was trying so hard to come up with something fun to send my Valentine (who happens to be very difficult to buy anything for!!) and I decided to send him a video (with a little help from Animoto!! Who also just happened to send me an e-mail with the video suggestion…but don’t tell Cody…I want him to think it was all my idea.)

Any way- I sat down and went through some photos and made a video tribute for him instead of getting him a card, and I think he was both surprised and touched by the gesture. (I also made him gumbo for dinner, and I feel I must add that I was very sick at the time… )

So, I thought I would share the video and a little bit about my husband with you. First of all- he is the absolute best husband, dad, and Pops in the world.  He is a very generous man, and he is the best “gift giver” in our family.  He sincerely gets more enjoyment from giving gifts over receiving them.

He is a man of few words; but can talk about sports, politics, national news worthy events and religion without stop.  He is passive/aggressive with those of us he loves, and yet he is very assertive with anyone who crosses one of us. He will gladly sit through a “chick flick” with me and really enjoy it. He loves to watch t.v. but will talk to me about any book I happen to be reading at the time.

Cody makes me laugh, mad, and cry more than any person on this earth…and he is also the person I can not imagine living without… he is my “person.”

He is my love…and my every day Valentine…

A New Phase in our Lives...

A Video for your enjoyment... Snippets of Our Lives

Empty Nest Musings

Cody and I have been married for 28 years. (I think that is like 200 in dog years) And for 26 of those years we have had babies, children, pre-teens, teenagers or “pre-adults” living with us. Until three weeks ago.  In a frenzy of last minute decisions, and hurried packing, with very little planning, our youngest (who turned 21 in December) moved to Austin.

While I do not have the talent to truly articulate my feelings regarding this new living arrangement… let me just say my emotions ranged from frustration (this move was unorganized and spontaneous… he packed most of his stuff in garbage bags for crying out loud!) to fear ( Dave, the same person who had decided to move on a whim…he packed most of his stuff in garbage bags for crying out loud…he  had taken care of all of moving details, including renting an apartment without any guidance, advice or help from us. Have I mentioned how he packed most of his stuff?) to excitement (What is it going to be like to have a whole house to ourselves???!!!!) and then to sadness. Yes, I said sadness.  I know. I know. That particular emotion was a shocker for me as well.

 For the most part he moved himself on Saturday, however, we planned to help him on Sunday… (secretly hoping that day would prove to be a little more organized. Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.)  In true form, that day was also completely unplanned… we finally got on the road around 5 p.m.  It was dark, but we got everything unloaded and made a trip to the grocery store with David and his new roommate, Miguel. Before we left, we fed them both dinner from the food trailer across the street from their apartment… and then, we said our goodbyes.  In the uber Austin-style coffee house and bar, ”Buzz Kill,” we hugged and shook hands with our youngest child and walked out the door- leaving him to start his life as a grown up…’bout time.

But, as we drove out of town- I found myself fighting a lump in my throat… and then I was shocked I was trying to fight back tears that seemed to have a mind of their own and kept filling up and spilling over my eyelids. And I sat there, silently crying and trying to figure out what exactly had triggered this reaction. SERIOUSLY??!!!  The child was 21 years old…he had organized and orchestrated this move completely. His desire was to become independent, and wasn’t that my desire?  Wasn’t that the goal Cody and I had set for him since he took his first breath? The answer to these questions was an emphatic, “YES!!!!”  However, as we headed north on I-35 tears were still slowly and quietly streaming down my cheeks and I fought back the urge to just let go and have a good, sobbing bawl…

Cody never acknowledged my tears… whether he simply did not see them, or was actually as confused by them as I was, I don’t really know. After all, he is the one I vented to when the frustration of sharing a house with two very independent and yet very dependent, (on my cleaning, cooking, keeping it together ability) drove me to the liquor cabinet, or in all reality the box of wine.  So he had every right to look at me and yell, “What the hell is wrong with you?!!!” And I would not have had an answer.

 So, as we drove in silence toward Temple, I sat in my seat silently crying… and trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.  It was not my first time to move this son out of my house…and just a couple of months ago this was what I was praying for... Heck- the night before this was what I had gotten excited, darn near giddy, about! This was a milestone I was planning to have a celebration for…finally- an empty nest!!  And yet now, instead, I was having a harder time than I did 2 ½ years ago when he moved to Austin to go to ACC!!

As I sat and analyzed my slightly shocking emotional reaction, wishing that it was not illegal for me to have a box of wine to travel with…I began to come up with several theories of why I had been thrown into such a sad state, and since Cody seemed not to notice my emotional issues, I did not see any point in trying to engage him in a conversation to help me work through it. So, instead, I began a silent conversation with my God… and  I began to come up with a great number of excuses for my choked back crying session: I was worried about David.  It had happened too fast. (He did after all, pack most of his stuff in trash bags)  What if he did not have enough to eat?  Poor Allie.  She is going to miss him like crazy.  What about his friends left here in Temple?  Aubrey and Hudson are going to miss him so much… they are used to seeing him at least twice a week!! Cody is going to miss him… who will he have to talk to about everything sport related? Poor Cody… surely he was sad… sadder than me…

And then.It Hit Me… I AM GOING TO MISS HIM!

I am going to miss seeing him everyday… or at least every few days.  I am going to miss his dry, quick wit. I am going to miss knowing he is home, safe and sound.  I am going to miss Sunday afternoons with him and Allie aggravating each other. I am going to miss his everyday friends, Chris and Kevin… I am going to miss cooking for him and whoever shows up with him…I am going to miss him showing me new songs.  I am going to miss watching “Justified” with him.  I am going to miss him telling me all about “The Walking Dead.”  I am going to miss the “Family Feud” marathons…the laughter that filled our back yard…the groups in our kitchen… hearing him laugh every day.  I am going to miss him making fun of me, snuggling with Lucy, talking to June Bug, sharing his thoughts…I am going to miss him.  I am going to miss being a mom with kids in my home…BUT. And there is a big BUT… there are a many positive sides to having an empty nest!! First and foremost it is a normal transition in life and in raising children.

I know that time does not stand still… and in all reality, we don’t want it to… One of my favorite quotes is from Bob Marley, “Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it is everything in between that makes it all worth living.” Leaving David in his own apartment was a beginning and an ending for me…both scary and sad…but very normal. 

I realize how fast time has gone by… I understand how fast it is continuing to fly… it seems like yesterday that Cody and I were the newlyweds starting on our own…and now we are grand parents...It happened so fast- but there is one thing I know for certain… I have enjoyed every second of it!!! Every day I was thankful for “the stage” we were living through… and I really enjoyed them.  I knew they were all fleeting moments in time.  

1) No sleep with infants (something I should blog about: Jacob getting chicken pox when Lynnsay was 2 weeks old and Cody was on graveyard shift… yes my first night alone with two babies was one with chicken pox hyped up on the anti itching meds,  and one who would only sleep if I was  breastfeeding her)

2) Fighting toddlers. (I wore the “turn timer” out…)

3) Elementary school (With the exception of projects… I hated projects…)

4) Middle School Hormones- every day is a mystery… the only constant is the knowledge that you are a dumba** in your child’s eyes and you are quiet possibly the most annoying person on earth! But when they need something, or some support, who do they come to?  That’s right… your annoying dumba**!!

5) High School Whirlwind:  Romance, hanging out, college questions, sports every day of the week…CRA…CRA… CRAZY!!

6) Post High School… new friends… new goals…questions…security…long term relationships...responsibility…

7) Your children having their own children… Grandchildren…they are my happy thoughts!

Enjoy the phase of life you are in…cherish the memories of the phases past… and remember to work on building a treasure in heaven…